Hottest man I've ever seen, my Facebook object of lust or HB as we have referred to him forthe last 2 years, is very obviously giving me the once over. Not gonna lie, I'm loving it. Imagine having Zac Efron (post-High School Musical days obvs) checking you out and you have an idea of how I'm feeling.
How to pull someone this delicious? Apparently all it takes is for you to have a chat with him.. he introduces you to his friend, WSM as you are both from the same hometown. Politely you chat to WSM and his brother; call your best mate over as you are all from the same village.. blah blah... all the while crazy lust thoughts are running rampant through your head and all you can think is "HOW CAN I GET HIM INTO BED!!!"
Praise be then, to the makers of sugary lollies.
Sucking absentmindedly on a Chupa Chup, I catch HB's eye. I offer him the lolly and he says "I'd rather you sucked something else...."
I throw the lolly on the ground, hold out my hand to him. He takes it and we walk off together... straight out of the club.
Monday, 26 August 2013
Thursday, 2 May 2013
It all started with a Facebook friend request
A tale as old as time... Someone attractive pops up on your Facebook newsfeed... You spend a substantial amount of time perving on their pics. Oh how I love those who keep their Facebook public.
Then one night you get stupidly drunk and add them as a friend. They post "yummy" on your wall and you think "I am soooo in there.." However this fine speciman of maleness is a) hot enough to melt your eyeballs and b) 7 years younger than you. Nursing a lifelong sense of not being as beautiful as your best mate, you don't do anything further. Except casual pic perving. You're only human....
Fast forward a few months and I'm out for the night with my friends. Still suffering from a vague sense of inadequacy compared to my glamourous mates, I can't say I was loving life. But I was out so therefore trying to enjoy it. Having not set foot over the door in 18 months, I felt like a gauche teenager.
My lovely, engaged male friend was trying his hardest to cheer me up. In the style of Top Gun, he offered to be my wingman. Drunkenly we stumbled around the club until I saw a delectable man in a white shirt. "Bring me White Shirt Man!" was heard the cry, and I wandered off to the smoking area to find the others.
20 minutes later and the Jagerbombs have replaced the blood in my veins and I'm thinking now is a good time to go home and eat chips. I look up to see my lovely male friend gesturing me over as he stands with White Shirt Man. Delighted, I forget the chips and start thinking with my nether regions. I walk over and as LM goes to introduce me, I see WSM is with none other than my Facebook object of lust.
And he's checking me out.
Then one night you get stupidly drunk and add them as a friend. They post "yummy" on your wall and you think "I am soooo in there.." However this fine speciman of maleness is a) hot enough to melt your eyeballs and b) 7 years younger than you. Nursing a lifelong sense of not being as beautiful as your best mate, you don't do anything further. Except casual pic perving. You're only human....
Fast forward a few months and I'm out for the night with my friends. Still suffering from a vague sense of inadequacy compared to my glamourous mates, I can't say I was loving life. But I was out so therefore trying to enjoy it. Having not set foot over the door in 18 months, I felt like a gauche teenager.
My lovely, engaged male friend was trying his hardest to cheer me up. In the style of Top Gun, he offered to be my wingman. Drunkenly we stumbled around the club until I saw a delectable man in a white shirt. "Bring me White Shirt Man!" was heard the cry, and I wandered off to the smoking area to find the others.
20 minutes later and the Jagerbombs have replaced the blood in my veins and I'm thinking now is a good time to go home and eat chips. I look up to see my lovely male friend gesturing me over as he stands with White Shirt Man. Delighted, I forget the chips and start thinking with my nether regions. I walk over and as LM goes to introduce me, I see WSM is with none other than my Facebook object of lust.
And he's checking me out.
Do look back in anger sometimes.. it's cathartic
Perhaps a little bit of background is in order..
Nutshell - had relationship, very serious, coming up to wedding, before I realised that I didn't have to conform to social standards. And also, he was a dick, spawned of pure evil. No, seriously. Proper sociopath.
So I got up one morning, packed my bags and never went back. Never. Closing the door for the final time on our house felt like the scene in Shawshank Redemption where he crawls through miles of shit in a sewer and makes it out the other end - the feeling of relief was THAT immense.
However, the crap I put up with for about 18mths after wasn't. But, every time I felt down, I reminded myself that it was me, and nobody else, who crawled through that sewer to freedom, and that I could therefore do anything.
This "fuck yeah!!" attitude is what has gotten me into drama aplenty for the last 2 years though
Nutshell - had relationship, very serious, coming up to wedding, before I realised that I didn't have to conform to social standards. And also, he was a dick, spawned of pure evil. No, seriously. Proper sociopath.
So I got up one morning, packed my bags and never went back. Never. Closing the door for the final time on our house felt like the scene in Shawshank Redemption where he crawls through miles of shit in a sewer and makes it out the other end - the feeling of relief was THAT immense.
However, the crap I put up with for about 18mths after wasn't. But, every time I felt down, I reminded myself that it was me, and nobody else, who crawled through that sewer to freedom, and that I could therefore do anything.
This "fuck yeah!!" attitude is what has gotten me into drama aplenty for the last 2 years though
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
Who says it's wrong?
30, with an insatiable lust for the fit hot man.. preferably younger than me. Is it wrong to have an unquenchable thirst for these could-be-models boys? At last count I had 4 in my Facebook chat inbox waiting on a reply... 2 on snapchat with questionable naked pics... It amuses me.
Stay away from my trigger, I'm a loaded gun.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a babe. What I am is cheeky, flirty, and born without regard for the consequences. Carpe Diem Girl, you could say. But all those guys that people think are unattainable...are really bloody attainable. Chat to their mates, ignore their messages, and - in this bloggers case - sleep with their brother and they come like puppies.
Are they just pseudos for the man I want though?
To be continued. Much to the despair of my long-suffering, sensible friends.
Stay away from my trigger, I'm a loaded gun.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a babe. What I am is cheeky, flirty, and born without regard for the consequences. Carpe Diem Girl, you could say. But all those guys that people think are unattainable...are really bloody attainable. Chat to their mates, ignore their messages, and - in this bloggers case - sleep with their brother and they come like puppies.
Are they just pseudos for the man I want though?
To be continued. Much to the despair of my long-suffering, sensible friends.
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